The only thing that has her not fully withdrawn is the fact that she still attends school. She has cried now too many times for a girl of her age. She hides from most of her family and her grades that were once stellar, are now down to zero. She is even taunted by some family members about that. She remembers them telling her that she was not that bright a child anymore in a gloating way. The members of the home were exhausted, they were reduced to almost shambles trying to figure out what was wrong with Patsy.
Lilah still keeps her mother's secrets and barely answers to the family when they pose questions to her about her mother. At this time her mother would make her turn the lights on and off, on and off for sometimes up to ten or more times if the lights were turned on in her mother's opinion too early or too late. When Lilah asked her why she would make her do things like that, she would just insinuate that something had made Lilah a bad child, the worst child in the family and that she was giving her training so that she could be more obedient.
With glossy eyes she relives the experience of having to share a bed with a sick-minded person such as Patsy. She recalls a night when she was ready to go to sleep and took off the light. Though her mother was not doing anything, she told her that she did not want the light off yet and she made Lilah put it back on. Lilah did so with reluctance and went to lie down complaining about why she had to try to fall asleep with such glaring lights.
Lilah still keeps her mother's secrets and barely answers to the family when they pose questions to her about her mother. At this time her mother would make her turn the lights on and off, on and off for sometimes up to ten or more times if the lights were turned on in her mother's opinion too early or too late. When Lilah asked her why she would make her do things like that, she would just insinuate that something had made Lilah a bad child, the worst child in the family and that she was giving her training so that she could be more obedient.
With glossy eyes she relives the experience of having to share a bed with a sick-minded person such as Patsy. She recalls a night when she was ready to go to sleep and took off the light. Though her mother was not doing anything, she told her that she did not want the light off yet and she made Lilah put it back on. Lilah did so with reluctance and went to lie down complaining about why she had to try to fall asleep with such glaring lights.
Trying to sleep, a half hour past and her mother who was sitting up as Lilah lay, indicated to Lilah that she could now take off the lights. Frustrated, Lilah refused. Her mother got up and stomped up and down the length of the bed proclaiming that she will make her get up and take off the light. Refusing to move, Lilah is scared at the thought of her mother's rage, she begins to cry covering her face from the light with the pillow.
Patsy now becomes adamant, wild and takes up a knife: one of the many utensils that she keeps in the bedroom. She threatens Lilah with it demanding that she get up and take off the light. Lilah says at that point not wanting to give in to her mother's irrational behaviour made her not move. She reasoned to her mother that she was the one that wanted the lights on and when she felt she was done she should take them off. Her mother is enraged and tries to scare her into getting up. Lilah tells her if you are the one standing, why can't you just take off the lights? With that comment Patsy takes the knife and sticks it under Lilah's hip as she lay on the bed frightened. Lilah, with the pillow on her head and tried to stifle herself, just to get away from the fear. She prays to God for the strength to kill herself. The strength never comes.
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