Precious Time

She wakes up in the morning to a mother that has no friends and praises her own self while finding fault in others, a tactic *Lilah claims was like to a child a sneaky form of brainwashing, because *Lilah actually began to believe that her mother was perfect. *Patsy would readily proclaim, 'Why can't people think like me?' Her mother would also tell her that she did not want any friends and that she could have if she wanted to, but friends cause too much trouble.

She tries to make her way to school, clinging on to the watch that her uncle gave her as a gift because of her stellar performance in her grades. Her mother takes it away, telling her that she would not need the watch at school and that she needed it more than *Lilah did. *Lilah was crushed. She would sullenly look on as her mother neurotically ate an almost 5 inch mound of food with the watch clasped in her soiled hands. *Patsy compulsively looked at the watch every minute, every second. The watch would be covered with rotted sauces from food, so much so that you could not tell the time without scraping the food from the watch's face.

*Lilah still hoped that one day the watch would be hers again. Her uncle had instructed her to wear the watch every day. When he realized that she was not wearing it, he would enquire what had happened. * Kara felt afraid and dared not tell the truth that would expose her mother's behaviour. Instead, she would claim that she had forgotten to wear it. An excuse that would make her uncle frown and she thought, seemingly believe that she did not appreciate the gift and that she was ungrateful and irresponsible. She said that she would then go on to live a life of making herself look erratic to hide her mother's secrets. She admits she does not know how she passed her examinations to go on to Secondary school.

Child abuse has many infestations, sexual abuse and flat out physical abuse emotional are all damaging, but what is surprising to me as I was doing research is that Emotional abuse can be most volatile as it may not be as readily detected and proved like Sexual Molestation and Physical Abuse. Most people cannot prove it. It destabilizes the child in a vicious way, a case of your word against mine with no physical evidence to prove any misdeed. Children as such, go on to be sometimes mislabeled mentally unstable.


What is also saddening is that like hazing, it can lead to a lifetime of self-destructive tendencies. Can you identify children in your neighbourhood like this, or even perhaps in your family?

It begins

*Patsy, *Lilah's mother walked around with an advancing girth and lambasted and berated anybody who would dare tell her that she was pregnant. As a 32 year old woman obsessed with religion and thoughts of God, pregnancy out of wedlock had to be denied, forget that pesky belly, it was the product of witchcraft she would claim. 'Somebody put something in mih belly, and it moving too!'

After being urged to stop denying the presence of an infant in her womb, *Patsy went to the doctor who officiated the pregnancy and informed her that she was 7 months pregnant. That would trumpet the start of a mania involving the number 7. She would then tell *Lilah that she had a dream of a number 7 floating from heaven coming down to her gate (she claimed that it was Jesus) and that he shook her hand and congratulated her. It was no surprise *Lilah was born an exact 7 pounds. She still does not know how she pulled that one off.

Does *Lilah look like a saviour? Why, I do not know. She is an overweight 23 year old that looks like the weight of the world is on her shoulders. She barely finished school and makes fairly low wages. She looks down as she tells me that she is also not well liked. Sad to say earlier in life she had started to show promise as a gifted child, but was stunted by the same person who touted her supposed divinity.

*Lilah's father quickly disappeared, from her life, she reasons that he walked away from the weird woman he had sex with and her child that issued from that. She had to go through a lifetime of pretending to make her father believe that they were doing well, even though they were extremely poor, part due to her mother's refusal to work. She proclaims that her mother never worked a day in her life and has more or less sat in a room alone just thinking about God going to church on rare occasions.

I wondered what makes some people so obsessed with God and have delusions of being the chosen one. It is perplexing how many people in this world today of so many religions believe that they are the 'Chosen One'.

This was *Lilah's Sunday

Caribbean Translation: Welcome

Caribbean Translation: Welcome

It Begins

Readers are warned that parts of *Lilah's accounts may have disturbing imagery. Readers under the age of 16 should be guided by a responsible parent or guardian.


She often cries. This is frowned upon in a land where sun is so abundant, even for a woman. She would be frowned upon as stupid or weak, crazy even. What else can she do holding a burden of a secret, she barely realised that she was keeping? She thought that it was common knowledge: what she went through. She had no idea of the 'Johari window' that bound her when she was a child and still as an adult. The name 'she' could be translated into *Lilah for ease and to prevent awkwardness of the reader.

*Lilah walks in shame as she wonders what her family thinks about her. She was an extremely gifted child. She was supposed to go to University, marry a well-to-do man and have one son and one daughter. Now she struggles to make a living, with jobs that sound prestigious but pay almost nothing. She rarely has the confidence to refuse jobs that make her feel like a doormat. She feels judged and always lacking.

*Lilah admits that she tends to keep away from her friends and family, something that they would hardly be able to understand. All they know is that this was bubbly, smart and confident girl barely looks the part anymore. What they do not know is that this break down of a façade was long being orchestrated. It pains her that she can never tell them the ultimate truth about her beginnings, because of fear of their disbelief.

The tears are always a blink away with her. As she recalls readily how her mother almost destroyed her life and is presently destroying her own. In a society that is still steeped in superstition and witchcraft and non-admittedly so, her mother never got the proper medical help that she deserved. She admits she watches some people walking through the town streets with their mothers and she has to look away, in jealousy. Why can't her mother go shopping with her on a sunny day and talk and laugh and trade things?

Instead, she has a story of what she refuses to call abuse. She uses the word mistreatment and neglect in it's stead. Her mother's secret weighs down on her as she has been made to sometimes be lumped or classed with her mother as one in the same. That sentiment that she swears she notices from even her family members hurts her too much, because to herself she is a woman that tried so hard to work and provide for herself from an age that she felt that she was able to.

She was conceived through a tryst that was never completed. One that would work to the advantage of her fundamentalist mother, who would go on to claim a miraculous conception.

Come by tomorrow for identifying the signs of Childhood Emotional Abuse, or for any age on that matter.

Sunday to Sunday series

Sunday to Sunday.

This is a new series that I am embarking upon. Translating accounts of Caribbean stories, that have little to do with sun, sea and sand, but everything to do with what goes on beyond the sand, when people go through rainy days.

The topic that I am about to delve into is an extremely serious topic. There will be some graphic accounts of a young lady that opts to remain anonymous, because of fear of familial embarrassment and rebuttals. I will break down events in her life that account for emotional abuse and manipulation from her mother *Patsy- a single parent. The young woman *Lilah is still in the process of coming to terms with her experiences and hopes to touch the lives of other young men and women who at present may be under the oppressive veil of abuse.

It is an account of key points and events in her life broken down into one week- Sunday to Sunday. I hope that the readers can respect the girl's request for anonymity. In my opinion a name is not needed, a face is not needed, because if this affects one child, it affects all of us. We need to elevate ourselves to the point where child-rearing decisions are not only for the benefit of the parent.

People may ask why write such a negative story. This story is to help someone anonymously vent a lifelong secret, a burden. The next reason is some young person, that this may be happening to, may read and see how abnormal being treated like that is. It might also help someone feel encouraged to help an oppressed child. I want to also urge people to respect children's rights to love, privacy and dignity. This is also for her family who could try to open their eyes and see what was going on under their noses and what they might have actually helped to propagate.

*Patsy & *Lilah are made up names to protect the identities of the two women, because of an expressed wish for anonymity. Readers will be advised further that while all are encouraged to read for the purpose of enlightenment, it is a very serious subject matter that is going to be dealt with.

I created this amateur video to indroduce a new series that I intend to delve into. A touching true story about a girl from my country and the effects of Emotional Abuse from a Trinidadian viewpoint. The nature of the topic will be a serious one. I do hope to bring awareness of a topic that needs not be hidden anymore. It is not my intention to alienate anyone, but these things need to be discussed and aired out. If we help save the children, we save us. I hope that I can help in some way. The name of the video: Motherless child. It was recorded at home and I did the Graphics on my lunch hour.